ChunksterChunkus - Video

[INTRO]
Welcome to the stream!

ChunksterChunkus is live.

He's got a plan.
He's got a mission.
He's got everything under control—

[CHAOS MOD ACTIVATES]

...Never mind.

[GROUP LAUGHTER]

[VERSE 1]
Chunkster takes the wheel,
He's cruising down the road,
Everything is going fine—

So naturally...

WE DROP A CAR ON HIS HEAD!

[CRASH]

Everyone in chat just laughing,
Gremlins at the keys,
He was halfway to his destination you see—

Now he's underneath an SUV.

He respawns,
Takes a breath,
Says,

"Can you assholes let me play?"

Sure, Chunkster!

We absolutely can. [giggle]

...

We just don't WANT TO!

[LAUGHTER]

[CHORUS]
CHUNKSTER CHUNKUS!
THE CROWNED PRINCE OF CHAOS!

He takes the wheel—
BUT WHO'S IN CONTROL?

NOT HIM, WE FEEL!

Chaos Mod!
Chaos Control!
Every little gremlin's got a finger on the controls!

Give him some money!
Drop him a truck!
Turn him into a pig—

OR JUST BLOW HIM THE FUCK UP!

ChunksterChunkus,
Trying desperately to play—

But the chat and mods woke up
And chose violence today!

[VERSE 2]
Turn him into a bird!

FLAP, CHUNKSTER, FLAP!

Turn him into a pig!

OINK OINK, MOTHERFUCKER!

Now he's a fat old lady
Running desperately down the street on her pudgy little feet.

Next click—

HOT LADY IN A BIKINI!

Chunkster:
"What the hell happened to me?!"

Chat:
"YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!"

[HUGE BURST OF LAUGHTER]

You can give him a million bucks,
Make the man filthy rich.

Or summon seventeen semi trucks
And throw his ass in a ditch.

Help him?

Sure.

We COULD...

But where's the entertainment in that?

[PRE-CHORUS]
We're moderators, chatters
Professionals.
Responsible adults.

...

BAHAHAHAHA!

No we're fucking not.

[CHORUS]
CHUNKSTER CHUNKUS!
THE CROWNED PRINCE OF CHAOS!

He takes the wheel—
BUT WHO'S IN CONTROL?

NOT HIM, WE FEEL!

Chaos Mod bending his mind!
And chaos Control!
Chunkster's losing years from his mortal soul!

Give him a weapon!
Give him a ride!
Then drop something enormous
DIRECTLY FROM THE SKY!

ChunksterChunkus,
Trying desperately to play—

But chat has decided:

YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD TODAY!

[VERSE 3]
Red Dead Redemption,
Riding proudly through the West.

He's been working on this mission
And he's doing pretty damn—

[CHAOS ACTIVATES]

DEAD.

Respawn.

Try again.

Almost there—

DEAD.

Respawn.

Try again.

Almost—

CRASHED THE GAME!

[Silence]

Chunkster:
"...Really?"

[ONE PERSON LAUGHING]

Then we crashed it twice.

[EVERYONE FUCKING LOSES IT]

Kept him playing
THE SAME DAMN LEVEL
ALL.
DAMN.
NIGHT!

[HUGE BURST OF LAUGHTER]

[BRIDGE]
Now batter him,
Abuse him, but gently
Turn his game into a mess.

Spawn a truck,
Launch a horse,
Put his patience to the test!

We may goofy little cybershits,
Gremlins running wild.

But remember there ARE rules here—

So keep the chaos in the game.

Cross the line?

[BAN HAMMER SOUND]

BYE!

See, we're professionals. [laughter]

...

Stop laughing.

[BREAKDOWN]
He's driving!

DROP A DUMPTRUCK!

He's walking!

DROP HIM FROM THE SKY!

He's riding HIS HORSE?

MAKE IT RUN RIGHT INTO A HOT AIR BALLOON!!

He's standing completely still—

...

You know what?

DROP.

A.

FUCKING.

CAR!

[CRASH EXPLOSION OF LAUGHTER]

[GROUP CHANT]
CHAOS!
CHAOS!
CHAOS!
CHAOS!

[FINAL CHORUS]
CHUNKSTER CHUNKUS!
THE CROWNED PRINCE OF CHAOS!

He takes the wheel—
BUT WHO'S IN CONTROL OF THE GAME?!

NOT HIM!
CHAT CHANTS, NOT HIM!
DEFINITELY NOT HIM!

GTA!
RED DEAD!
CHAOS EVERYWHERE!

Chunkster's screaming at the mods
While we're crying in our chairs!

he crashed his car!
We crashed his planes!
WE ALL CRASHED THE FUCKING GAME!

Then made him play the same damn mission
OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

CHUNKSTER CHUNKUS!

LONG MAY HE REIGN!

Assuming Chaos Mod
Doesn't crash again.

[INSTRUMENTS STOP]

[VOICE FROM THE DOOR]
"Are you winning, son?"

[LONG SILENCE]

Chunkster:
"GET OUT!
YOU KNOW I'M FAR FROM DONE!"

[HAILS OF UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER]

[OUTRO]
Mods wipe their tears of laughter and straighten up in their chairs, Alright, everybody calm down!

Let the man play.

Seriously.

[Sniggering and hushed mischievous group laughter]

..guys..

[CLICK]

Chunkster:
"WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!"