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All Charles Charleston ever wanted out of life was to quit his dead end job as a pulmonologist to become a professional gamer. And he did just that during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.

But even after several years of playing games such as Dirk Nutter's Pro Rollerblader and Fuwa-Fuwa Voyeuristic Photography Club, Charles often finds himself with an audience measured in single digits.

"I even resorted to playing in a hot tub while wearing assorted fetish gear," Charles said.

Some critics have suggested that Charles' lack of personality might be what is holding him back. One critic, known only by their internet handle, xXnipple_pleaserXx, commented that they grew weary of Charles' pontificating, often for hours on end, on the philosophical and socio-political insight of director Zack Snyder's filmography. Another, InsertRacialSlurHere, frequently shared their frustration about Charles' lack of larger breasts.

Charles, meanwhile, insists his lack of success is rooted firmly in a bizarre conspiracy involving the U.S. National Park Service, a local stray cat, and actor-comedian Marc Maron.

"The fifth letter of every other sentence in his special 'Thinky Pain' spells a direct threat on my life," Charles explained. "And don't even get me started about what they're hiding under Joshua Tree."

We didn't, but he did anyway.

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