new beginnings - Video

mind over matter
the last year is the bravest I’ve been in my entire life - I’ve let courage become me but I am still so afraid. I don’t want to look dumb, boring, ugly, or too serious, sometimes I don’t think I’m serious enough, or even playful enough - actually these things dont matter and fluctuate anyways, if they didn't thats what would truly boring, so what are the ramblings for?
as more time passes the anxious i become, the more anxious i am - that much more critical i am of myself
I have learned to let go and am still grappling with actively choosing to do so
i can take a step back and laugh at myself while also appreciating and taking myself just as serious but i am afraid while doing so
My stomach hurts!!!!!!!! Fear becomes me!!! I convince myself it's excitement!!!!!! (my stomach still hurts, i move forward)
happy new year ; to another year of courage

ive yet to sleep!!!!!! goodnight world!!!!!!!!!

instagram/letterboxd ; hamnasuze


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